寻留步·字留迹@loopingyew

i am a bad tempered person.
fren tat close wit me know bout tis.
my EQ not high, will explode myself anywhere, anytime.

today, i have my micro P practical test.
initially was good.
but after 10 minutes(the test is an hour),
when i blur wit the ques,
i look over and over again...
try to concentrate and think,
alot of noise come from outside of the lab.
i realise people standing outside seeing us who are inside..
like your parents bring u to zoo during ur childhood,
the way u look at those zebras, bulls, tigers...

i turn bac to my question paper and thinking again...
trying to concentrate...trying..trying hardly..
but CANT...

i feel so weird how come the instructor do not heard the sound?
the lab incharge technician do not heard the sound??
or i am the only one that heard the sound??
it is noisy...like the market when i went to hatyai..
alot of similiarities,
they shout lik bargaining, alot of ppl talking, fingers pointing..
the only difference,
no big umbrella here, no cars, no thai,
but CANTONESE...(actually mix abit of MALAY)
the condition doesn't change, until i finished my test,
complain of the 'noisy' when i go out the lab,
i heard "sorry"
SO WAT? a sorry can bring me back to the test again?

perhaps i should blame myself,
blame myself that own a stupid brain that cant tink well
blame myself that my concentration is damn lousy
blame myself that i cant focus well
blame myself that i sit the NEAREST to the door and heard all wat u all shout
blame myself for being so sensitive for my hearing until i heard someone shouted,
"YEE SIONG RAISE her hand ler" (well, this is in cantonese, loud and clear {applause})
blame myself that i am in the 1st session but not 2nd session
(if i am in 2nd session, no other session ppl will bising when my practical test goin on)

yea, this post consist of very negative thoughts..
but the positive comes,
a 20+-year-old UNI student still do know how they should behave when people having test..
shud feel ashamed of themselves? I HOPE i am the last victim...